Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Panties = found
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
