just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
