Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
