If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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