no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
