just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Pooping to opera.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
