cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
