Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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