He asked me if I "almost moaned"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
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