i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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