hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
