So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
