She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
