you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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