so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
