So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
