Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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