Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
