I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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