I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
