It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
