So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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