Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
