i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
