so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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