Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
