Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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