And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
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