Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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