tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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