and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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