32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize