ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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