Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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