Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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