I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
