omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
too bad you live with your parents still
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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