I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize