I just threw up on my dentist
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
