Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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