Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
