Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
