why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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