yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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