We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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