The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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