my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
