How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
jump out the window naked night went bad
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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