we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
