we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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