I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Who died my cat blue again?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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