She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
