Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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