Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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