Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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