After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
