that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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