the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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