It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
