Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
